stop pretending, love


This month, I'll be telling you more about the Soulful Biz Club. If you don't want to hear about the coziest most genuine community of sensitive and supportive women online, click here.


Hello love,

Do you know what causes me immediate anxiety?

Feeling trapped in a situation that asks me to perform a certain way, when I feel another way.

In other words, when I sense that someone I care about wants me to be a certain way, or to think a certain way, and that's not the case but I'm too terrified of being rejected or unloved to allow myself to disappoint them.

What choice do I have then?

None, says my trauma response.

We've all learned to put masks on in order to fit in.

In order to survive, really.

We believed we had to be, think, feel, act in certain ways in order to be loved and successful... So we did.

What we didn't know is that in the process, we would also shut down our authenticity, silence our truth and abandon ourselves.

So we keep performing.

We say yes when we mean no. We pretend we've got it all under control. We power through when we're exhausted. We lower our prices. We play the part of the expert who never gets it wrong.

We adjust the filters to hide what we deem unacceptable about ourselves, wishing to only shine bright in our light.

But here's the thing.

How can you ever feel safe being visible in your business, if you haven't made peace with all the parts of you?

Lifting off the layers of masks one after another, and learning to love everything you uncover, that's the work of meeting yourself.

It's not something that can be rushed. It takes patience and nurture.

But you know what has helped me tremendously on this path?

Being surrounded by people who are walking the same path. Who don't judge when you show your vulnerability, your fears, your mistakes.

Otherwise it would be impossible to feel safe on the journey.

That's what happens in our Telegram community when someone admits they're struggling. Or in co-working when you don't have to pretend you're productive. Or in group coaching when you can say "I don't know" without shame.

If you too could use a sanctuary, our door is open to you.

Join the Soulful Biz Club here.

Power and light,

Jessica

Helloo, I'm Jessica Tefenkgi Ruelle. I'm a coach, copywriter & content strategist for highly sensitives & introverts in business.

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taking a homeschool break & preparing my end-of-year calendar!

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